Grateful

Last night our secret 12 days of Christmas came. We received the Joseph piece of the Nativity. It totally drives me nuts that I don't know who it is though. I know that that is the idea, but it still drives me crazy. We now have Mary and the baby Jesus left to complete the set. I am going to be sad when this is all over. Not just because someone is bringing us presents, but because of the wonderful spirit it brings to our home. So, if the person who is doing this is reading this blog, could you just keep it up all year? We are really enjoying it. (Ha, Ha).

I have been really conflicted about the money jar. The night we received it, I asked the kids what they thought we should do with it. Sarah wanted to give it to "the poor people with signs at Temple Square." We discussed the intent of those who gave it to us. Sarah spent the evening separating the coins and counting each kind, (IE, quarters, nickles, etc.). I told her that there were machines that would do that at the bank, but she would not hear of it. That just didn't seem right to her. She wanted to treat the gift respectfully. Jim and I were still struggling. If we gave the money away, we felt we would be disrespecting the wishes of the giver. But if we took the money and did something fun with it, we felt guilty. So, the next day, I came up with a solution that I felt we could feel good about. We had the money from the jar counted. I wanted the kids to know exactly how much was in it so they could see what was sacrificed for us. It was around $90.00. We also have a change jar that we put our loose change in. It is not as large as the one received because we all borrow (steal) from it frequently, but still it had a significant amount in it. I suggested to the family that we take both jars and combine them. Whatever the amount totaled, we would spend half on "toys for tots" and the other half we would go to dinner Christmas Eve. We all felt good about that decision. So, today the kids and I went to the store and bought toys for kids that otherwise would not be getting any on Christmas. When we had reached our budgeted limit, I told the kids that we had spent the money and we were done. Sarah responded "who cares about the limit, it is Christmas." Truth from the mouth of babes. It was very fun for us to think about someone else besides ourselves for a minute.

Tomorrow night will be very special. Brendan works at Powder Mountain on Christmas Day. So we decided that we will take our gift money and go out to dinner Christmas Eve and then we will come back here and Brendan will open his gifts. Also, we will open the gifts he has given us. It should be a great family night.

Today, Jim went and got a short hair cut. I guess it is already falling out from the Chemo. I suggested that he just shave it. He stated that he was not quite ready for that yet. I think he looks sexy with a bald head so I don't have any problem with it, but to him it signifies illness. All in due time I guess.

I have to say, that I think this is my favorite Christmas that we have had for a long time. I know that sounds funny considering what is to come, but this Christmas we have felt and experienced what Christmas is truly about. Our hearts are full and we have enjoyed family time, making memories, holiday traditions and the spirit of service and sacrifice.

I am so grateful.

Humble

We feel entirely grateful and humble this holiday season. A couple of amazing things have happened to us.

Someone picked us to do the 12 days of Christmas for. We have done this before but have never received it. I have to say it is tough to be on the receiving side. It is amazing though how it has brought the spirit of Christmas into our home. Someone has been very generous to us. The kids, even though they are teenagers, have been abuzz with excitement and delight. We have received a gingerbread house, several goodies and a nativity piece each day. I am a lover of nativities. They are incredibly special to me. Each day, we have been so excited to see which piece we are getting. What an amazing gift this has been. Every year, as we set up this nativity, we will remember the generosity in which it was received.

The other night, the doorbell rang. Nathan came in the house with amazement and said, "Someone gave us a big jar of money." With it a note came explaining that this anonymous family had saved their money this year. It was their "Christmas Jar." The intent was to give this jar to a "deserving" family at Christmas time. The only problem is that we do not feel like a "deserving" family. We have the phrase "We're not worthy" running through our heads. Although, we have challenges up ahead, we still feel so blessed. We don't feel our struggles are any more than anyone elses, just different. We have a warm place live, food on our table, love in our hearts and an abundance of extras. We have never gone without. So naturally, when this jar came, we felt guilty. There are so many families out there that are going without. The intent with the jar was that we should use it to do something together as a family. So, we are going to humble ourselves and do with it what was intended. We understand that this is a way to tell us that we are loved.

Although we do not feel worthy for such an outpouring of love, it has brought us to tears and taught us a couple of things. One, it is not easy to receive. But, important to humble ourselves and allow others the blessings of sacrifice and service. Second, it has taught us lessons on giving and sacrafice. We cannot repay the love shown to us, but we can "pay it forward." A very valuable gift that I can teach my family. It will mean more to them now when they give, because they know how they have felt. Third, it has taught us that there are some amazing people our there that have much to teach us. We will learn from their examples. The 12 days of Christmas and the Christmas Jar will live on.

What an incredible Christmas season this has been. This love and generosity has truly brought back the "magic" of Christmas into our lives.

Family Pictures

We got our family pictures back. I am so excited. When we found out about Jim's health we talked to the girl who did the pictures for my brothers triplets. We wanted to get right in before Jim lost his hair. She got us scheduled immediately. It was so much fun. Looking at the pictures just brings back the feelings of how much fun we had. Here is a sample.





TRY TO GET THIS SHOT. CAN YOU SEE NATE?



LEAF FIGHT

Jim's Health

This is an update on how Jim is doing since his May 2008 Bone Marrow Transplant. We went for his year checkup and the pet scan detected that his lymphoma is back.

So to recap;

First diagnosis of Stage 4, Non Hodgkin's, Low Grade Lymphoma - April 2005
Spleen rupture and removal - May 2005
10 Chemo Therapy treatments - May - November 2005
Jim's own bone marrow Harvest - Jan, 2006
Recurrence - February 2008
4 Chemo Treatments - February - April, 2008
Bone Marrow Transplant [Jim's own marrow) - May- June 2008
Recurrence - October, 2009
Chemo - December, 2009- ?
Donor Bone Marrow Transplant - ?

Jim feels Healthy. The recurrence is small which means it should respond to treatment. It is strange because he doesn't feel sick. Now he will with treatment though. We knew the cancer would come back , because this is what this kind of lymphoma does, but we hoped we could get a few years out of this last transplant, because the donor transplant is much more complicated and risky. Also, because this is our last option. It also can deeply affect his quality of living. So, we need a lot of prayers sent in his behalf.

So, Like the Tim McGraw song says, once again, we decided that we had better start living like we were dying. So, we got family pictures {last ones we got when he was originally diagnosed, lovingly referred to as his "Cancer Pictures", and went on a cruise. The cruise was not planned for, we booked it and left 3 weeks later. What an amazing time. Jim para sailed and the family zip lined through the Mexican rain forest. Those are memories that can't be taken away.

So now, we muddle through the process, trying not to think about what lies ahead. Christmas is upon us and it is a great diversion. We are basking in the joy of the season and enjoying our great traditions and the warmth of family.

PS. I will post our family pictures and cruise pictures soon.

March 8, 2009

I just checked my blog and have not blogged since September. We are doing very well. Jim's Health is great. He gets every cold that come's in our house, but other than that he is doing well. He runs, plays basketball, etc. you would never know he had a bone marrow transplant last spring. I need to get some pictures on the blog so you can see how good [sexy] he looks.

Our family is crazy busy, thus the no blogging. Hopefully summer will settle down. We had a "no summer" last summer so we want to really play this summer. Nathan said that "he wants to go to Disneyland, get lagoon passes and go camping with the Whites [ our dear friends]. Sounds like a plan to us. We are planning on going to Disneyland as soon as school gets out.

I have exciting news. I am an aunt to triplets. My brother John and his wife Megan just had triplets. Two boys and a girl. They are doing very well. Babies are a month old and in the NICU but should be coming home soon. I am sure I will be there often and of course will be the "favorite aunt."

Well, just thought I would give a quick update. We are going to St. George for Easter. Hope to get some pictures on soon.

Suzanne