We are getting the hang of Jim being home. I can't believe how tired I have been. I think my body thinks it is time to crash. I have been pretty stressed out staying home with Jim. I have been trying to figure out what is so stressful. Before I was going to the hospital every day and not getting anything else done. It is not like he requires that much care. I have decided that the stress is just change. When he was in the hospital I was just there for him. Now I am responsible for his care 100% of the time. I think some of the stress just comes from knowing that. I am also a very structured and organized person. When Jim was in the hospital I just had to go with the flow. There was no structure. Now that I am home, I think I am craving some kind of routine. I am not good at chaos. It is getting better though. Today I woke up with energy and motivation to do some things. I just have to keep telling myself that my role is to take care of him and whatever else I get done is bonus. That helps. The more he is home the more it is coming together.
Jim has some good days and some bad ones. Yesterday he felt pretty good. He still pretty much just showers and then spends the day sitting in the lazy boy. When he gets up to use the bathroom he will take an upstairs tour to build his strength back up. Today I am giving him extra IV fluids because he is feeling dizzy again. He is drinking, but can't seem to stay hydrated.
Tomorrow we have his appointment at the bonemarrow clinic. It always seams to be an all day affair based on his labs and what he needs that day. Hopefully we will only have 2 appointments this week. It actually might feel good to take a drive and get out of the house. He will also have physical therapy 2 days this week.
Today WE ARE THANKFUL FOR incredible support. I don't think we could have ever done this without it.
Monday, April 19, 2010
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