Grateful

Last night our secret 12 days of Christmas came. We received the Joseph piece of the Nativity. It totally drives me nuts that I don't know who it is though. I know that that is the idea, but it still drives me crazy. We now have Mary and the baby Jesus left to complete the set. I am going to be sad when this is all over. Not just because someone is bringing us presents, but because of the wonderful spirit it brings to our home. So, if the person who is doing this is reading this blog, could you just keep it up all year? We are really enjoying it. (Ha, Ha).

I have been really conflicted about the money jar. The night we received it, I asked the kids what they thought we should do with it. Sarah wanted to give it to "the poor people with signs at Temple Square." We discussed the intent of those who gave it to us. Sarah spent the evening separating the coins and counting each kind, (IE, quarters, nickles, etc.). I told her that there were machines that would do that at the bank, but she would not hear of it. That just didn't seem right to her. She wanted to treat the gift respectfully. Jim and I were still struggling. If we gave the money away, we felt we would be disrespecting the wishes of the giver. But if we took the money and did something fun with it, we felt guilty. So, the next day, I came up with a solution that I felt we could feel good about. We had the money from the jar counted. I wanted the kids to know exactly how much was in it so they could see what was sacrificed for us. It was around $90.00. We also have a change jar that we put our loose change in. It is not as large as the one received because we all borrow (steal) from it frequently, but still it had a significant amount in it. I suggested to the family that we take both jars and combine them. Whatever the amount totaled, we would spend half on "toys for tots" and the other half we would go to dinner Christmas Eve. We all felt good about that decision. So, today the kids and I went to the store and bought toys for kids that otherwise would not be getting any on Christmas. When we had reached our budgeted limit, I told the kids that we had spent the money and we were done. Sarah responded "who cares about the limit, it is Christmas." Truth from the mouth of babes. It was very fun for us to think about someone else besides ourselves for a minute.

Tomorrow night will be very special. Brendan works at Powder Mountain on Christmas Day. So we decided that we will take our gift money and go out to dinner Christmas Eve and then we will come back here and Brendan will open his gifts. Also, we will open the gifts he has given us. It should be a great family night.

Today, Jim went and got a short hair cut. I guess it is already falling out from the Chemo. I suggested that he just shave it. He stated that he was not quite ready for that yet. I think he looks sexy with a bald head so I don't have any problem with it, but to him it signifies illness. All in due time I guess.

I have to say, that I think this is my favorite Christmas that we have had for a long time. I know that sounds funny considering what is to come, but this Christmas we have felt and experienced what Christmas is truly about. Our hearts are full and we have enjoyed family time, making memories, holiday traditions and the spirit of service and sacrifice.

I am so grateful.

Humble

We feel entirely grateful and humble this holiday season. A couple of amazing things have happened to us.

Someone picked us to do the 12 days of Christmas for. We have done this before but have never received it. I have to say it is tough to be on the receiving side. It is amazing though how it has brought the spirit of Christmas into our home. Someone has been very generous to us. The kids, even though they are teenagers, have been abuzz with excitement and delight. We have received a gingerbread house, several goodies and a nativity piece each day. I am a lover of nativities. They are incredibly special to me. Each day, we have been so excited to see which piece we are getting. What an amazing gift this has been. Every year, as we set up this nativity, we will remember the generosity in which it was received.

The other night, the doorbell rang. Nathan came in the house with amazement and said, "Someone gave us a big jar of money." With it a note came explaining that this anonymous family had saved their money this year. It was their "Christmas Jar." The intent was to give this jar to a "deserving" family at Christmas time. The only problem is that we do not feel like a "deserving" family. We have the phrase "We're not worthy" running through our heads. Although, we have challenges up ahead, we still feel so blessed. We don't feel our struggles are any more than anyone elses, just different. We have a warm place live, food on our table, love in our hearts and an abundance of extras. We have never gone without. So naturally, when this jar came, we felt guilty. There are so many families out there that are going without. The intent with the jar was that we should use it to do something together as a family. So, we are going to humble ourselves and do with it what was intended. We understand that this is a way to tell us that we are loved.

Although we do not feel worthy for such an outpouring of love, it has brought us to tears and taught us a couple of things. One, it is not easy to receive. But, important to humble ourselves and allow others the blessings of sacrifice and service. Second, it has taught us lessons on giving and sacrafice. We cannot repay the love shown to us, but we can "pay it forward." A very valuable gift that I can teach my family. It will mean more to them now when they give, because they know how they have felt. Third, it has taught us that there are some amazing people our there that have much to teach us. We will learn from their examples. The 12 days of Christmas and the Christmas Jar will live on.

What an incredible Christmas season this has been. This love and generosity has truly brought back the "magic" of Christmas into our lives.