Have no idea what day post transplant it is or even what day it is for that matter.

So here is the scoop. CANCER SUCKS! Back in the hospital. Friday, Jim was feeling great, Saturday not so good, Sunday darn right crumby. Was having difficulty breathing. Called several times during the day on Saturday and was told only to bring him in if he had a fever. So, of course 11:00 Sunday night spiked a fever. I am terribly night blind so Spencer drove Jim and I to LDS hospital that night. No sleep Sunday night! So we thought he probably had some sort of infection (which he does) but found out on Monday that he had a Pulmonary Hemorrhage (bleeding in the lungs). We don't know which came first the infection or the hemorrhage. So, Monday afternoon after a lung biopsy Jim got to go back to his favorite place (not) the ICU. Keep in mind that the last time he was there he was on a ventilator for two weeks and nearly died. Needless to say he has Post Traumatic Stress from being there last time. So, Monday night neither of us got any sleep. Poor guy! He was so anxious! They decided to keep him another night in the ICU to watch him before sending him back up to the bone marrow floor. We got a little sleep last night. So, today we wake up and hear that he is in kidney failure. So Jim got another Central Line placed and dialysis. Jim is coping pretty well, but made a comment today something like "and this is going to be my life." We certainly hope not. We have been told the first year after transplant is hell (and it is). We just hope it gets better. We definitely have had some glimpses of better. I feel like it is a tease. He has a great few days and then the bottom falls out again. Last week was a glimpse of normal. I worked a couple of days, had a good couple of clinic days for Jim, planted some flowers, felt some normalcy. I even thought that I could leave Jim for an hour on Sunday and go to church. (I haven't been since February) Then here we go. The dialysis hopefully is just for a short time so they can get to the bottom of what is causing his kidney failure. They know some of his drugs are hard on his kidneys, but he can't go without the drugs as this point. So, anyway that is it in a nutshell.

I am planning on going home tonight and getting some sleep. Haven't been home since
Sunday.

Today I AM THANKFUL that I get to get the *@*%& out of this hospital. (Poor Jim doesn't get to go).