Today we are, I am sure you can't guess where. Yes, we are back at LDS Hospital. Today is the final preps for Jim's Hospitalization. He got another shot today and then we are waiting for him to get his Central Line placed. They do this in the OR with x-ray so they can see where to put it. It is a long line that goes directly to the heart. It can be left in a long time and has several ports, so they can run all of his meds through the line and also draw blood from it. For Jim it means he doesn't have to keep getting poked, which when you have Cancer, you get poked alot and your veins start to not like it very much. So, now we are just waiting for the procedure. They will take him back in an OR room, consciously sedate him, and place the line. Then we wait in a recovery room for a while and then go home. So, I get to sit here with my computer and blog.

Yesterday, was a good day. It was emotionally draining, but a good day. We didn't plan it this way, but it just so happened that Brendan spoke in church and Sarah and her friend sang. When it was all scheduled, we didn't know that it would be Jim's last church meeting for a while. Several family members read about Bren and Sarah on the blog so they came to hear. I teased Jim if he felt like it was "The Last Supper." It is hard to have so much attention drawn to us, but in the same breath it is very comforting to know that people love us and care about us. It was also nice for Jim to hear his son speak and daughter sing. After Dinner last night, Jim gave myself and the kids blessings. He had his last week. He also talked to the kids a little about what was to come.

You know it is interesting. No matter what challenges our family has faced, we have always been able to be positive through the experiences. It hasn't even been that hard to be positive most times. We just were. I have to say this time, we have had a hard time. Both Jim and I have felt pretty beaten down. We have had to dig deeper than we ever have. I have been getting worried because the hospitalization is coming right up and neither Jim or I have rallied so to speak. Even yesterday I didn't feel it. But today, I feel at peace and ready to start this battle. Jim even said he was going to try to find the "fun." He told me last night that "it's all going to be ok." I believe him. When he gets radiation he has to stand there the whole time. The staff told him they will let him pipe in whatever music he wants from his I-pod. He told me that tomorrow he thinks he is going to play the theme from "Medal of Honor" which is a battle game on X-box. I see his fight kicking back in. Spencer always says Jim is "an animal." I am starting to see the Animal again. I am so glad. He will need that animal.

My friend gave me and the kids a notebook last night. She said that in times of trial she finds it helpful to write down some things that you are thankful for. There is always something to be thankful for. So, I am going to write something everyday.

Today I AM THANKFUL that Jim has been able to fight this Cancer for five years. After a stage 4 diagnosis, ruptured spleen, 20 Chemo treatments, 2 relapses, 6 bone barrow biopsies (Ouch) and a failed autologous stem cell transplant, he is still here and willing to fight the fight. I am right here with him. There is no turning back now or giving up. We are here for the long haul.